One of the benefits of adulting is being able to afford the finer things in life, like tickets to a local pottery sale preview party. It’s not proper adulting until the word “hors d’oeuvres” is tossed around flippantly, people make straight-faced promises that tours and demonstrations will be “intimate,” and all around you, talented people are making conversation about such topics as creative processes, the inclusion of the concept of time in a work of sculpture, and the benefits of pairing pureed squash with a local, small-batch rye whiskey. I’m straight-up sophisticated. Usually, I admit, my weekends are lovingly spent never leaving my jammy jams, my couch, or my bowl…
I use words like “tacky” unironically. I’ve gone to wedding showers. I’ve gone to baby showers. Without my mother. I eat breakfast because it jumpstarts my metabolism.